What mom hasn’t looked in the mirror, sighed, and thought about her pre-kids body?
That’s why what Laura Mazza said to her husband feels so familiar.
"This isn't the body you fell in love with."I said to him.The body he fell in love with was toned, it had muscles,…
The body he fell in love with was toned, it had muscles, there were no stretch marks on my belly, none on my boobs, no gut from muscle separation.
The body he fell in love with fit into tight jeans, could walk into a shop and grab any size and walk out, knowing it fit.
But tight jeans and tiny sizes are a thing of the past. And to make it worse, while time has changed her body, it hasn’t changed his:
This body now couldn’t shop at those stores, and mostly wears leggings. His body stayed the same, but mine changed in every way. It isn’t fair…
It can all be too much sometimes. Which is how Mazza found herself making that mournful comparison to her husband. She wrote:
I stood in front of him, exhausted and broken, the tears welled in my eyes, “This isn’t the body you fell in love with.”
Rather than dismiss her concerns or offer comforting platitudes, Mazza’s husband did something surprising. He agreed with her:
Then he said, “You’re right. It isn’t the body I fell in love with.
Instead it’s a body that grew our children, it fed our children, it comforted our children, it made life. Your body is the one I fall in love with every day.
I didn’t know what love was until I saw this body and found out all it could do, so thank you.”
For Mazza, his response was a reminder that her current body worked hard for that love. She wrote:
Do not be ashamed of what you have, or what your mum body looks like. There’s plenty of time to give up cake in the future. For now, enjoy the moments you have, and enjoy the fact that you have made something that is worth every stretch mark and every dimple.
As Mazza told Dearly, it’s not uncommon for women to worry about the changes to their body after pregnancy:
“I know a lot of women or mothers worry about not being attracted to their partners anymore due to the changes in their body after pregnancy and those early days of exhaustion, so I wanted the chance to encourage them so they know how truly beautiful they are regardless of a few stretch marks.”
Having a husband who understands and makes her feel beautiful in her current body, without comparison to the “one he fell in love with,” makes all the difference. She told Dearly:
“My partner always tells me he loves me for me, and just the way I am, so I know that these ladies, their partners are in awe of them, and fell in love with the beautiful mind that they have and they should never worry about that stuff.”
She added that there’s no point in beating yourself up about the changes to your body, now or ever:
“There’s plenty of time to ‘lose baby weight,’ if they choose to when they’re ready.”