Mom blogger Mel Watts admitted that she never expected her relationship with her husband to change once they had children.
In fact, she wrote on Facebook that she used to laugh at those who tried to warn her it would inevitably happen.
Off to celebrate how lucky we are to live in this country we call home. As the Australian anthem says – Our land is girt…
Husband. Wife. Roommates? If someone told me years ago that my relationship would one day change, I would have laughed and said no way.
But the mom of four explained that she was recently laying next to her husband in bed, crying. She was wide awake, while he was snoring next to her.
Watts said that her mind was racing with memories of what their relationship used to be like:
He was snoring his busy week away and I was wide awake thinking of all the things we used to do. How different we use to be. I was mad at him for changing. I was mad at myself for changing. It is no ones fault. Its just a moment in our life where I can say – it’s not all roses and handcuffs.
The long date nights have gone.
The sleep-ins are non existent.
The surprise weekends away, we can no longer afford them.
The loving wife went on to paint a picture of what life looks like for them now:
The late nights are now laying there silently with our backs to each other hoping the other one will get up for the crying baby.
The text messages that use to read about how much they love you and why. Now they’re more likely “Babes got my period, get pads – wings. Don’t forget the bloody wings. Hazelnut magnums, not the minis that means I have to eat three, I’d rather just eat two big ones. And whatever you and the kids want for dinner. Can’t cook dying.”
Watts added that children are hard work and while some couples are able to find the balance of parenting and marriage, she admitted that they personally struggle to try to do it all.
But one thing is clear, while their relationship isn’t what it used to be — that doesn’t necessarily mean it has changed for the worse.
Husband. Wife. Roommates ? If someone told me years ago that my relationship would one day change, I would have laughed…
The children have become the number one priority and at some point we need to learn to put our relationship towards the top of that priority list. I think in time it will become that way again. You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that its even difficult, its just different. And sometimes different is really hard.
Things have changed. Have they changed for the worse?
No. I don’t think so. I think this moment in our lives is where we need to be right now. I am still very very much in love with my husband. It’s just a different kind of relationship now.
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It’s another chapter in our life.
The mom said she shared this “very raw part of [her] heart” so that others going through something similar don’t feel so alone, and so that she doesn’t doesn’t feel so alone either.
Is the romance dead?
No. Its very much alive but it also has another 3 humans involved it’s not as easy anymore. Do I think he deserves more? Of course I do. He deserves the world when at this moment all I can give him is a hairy, cranky wife.
If someone asked me today “Did your relationship change over time?” I would answer – Yes. Nothing is going to be easy forever. Nothing is going to stay the same. And thats okay. Life is all about the change. It’s about becoming together and staying together during the good, the ugly and the children.
Watts encouraged others who feel the same way in their marriage to stop comparing themselves now to what they once were and to have an open conversation about the changes that have happened, and how they feel about them.
I love you, even at your worst. I love you, even at your best.No other person I’d rather put up with in life but you….
She wrote, “Of course it’s worrying and of course its scary. No one likes change, and no one expects change. But just like everything else in life – relationships change.”
Yet, despite all that they have been through, there is no other person Watts would want to change with.