Note: This article contains coarse language that may offend some readers.
Last week, Sinead O’Connor, best known for her rendition of Prince’s song “Nothing Compares 2 U,” revealed she was battling “three mental illnesses” in a frightening video posted to her Facebook page.
The 50-year-old Irish singer sobbed while opening up about her history of mental health, saying she’s been dealing with it all by herself:
“I’m all by myself, there’s absolutely nobody in my life, except my doctor, my psychiatrist — who is the sweetest man on earth who says I’m his hero — and that’s about the only f**king thing keeping me alive at the moment. The fact that I’m his bloody hero … and that’s kind of pathetic.”
And because of that, she’s sadly considered taking her life a number of times over the past few years:
“If it was just for me I’d be gone. Straight away back to my mum … because I’ve walked this earth alone for two years now as punishment for being mentally f**king ill and getting angry that no one would f**king take care of me. [I’m being punished] specifically for being suicidal.”
She continued, saying she isn’t alone in the battle against mental illnesses, and that it’s been because of all those suffering she hasn’t yet ended her life:
“I’m really sad and I shouldn’t be here and I know I’m just one of millions and that’s the only thing that keeps me going […] And everyday I’ve spent for two f**king years that my entire life is revolved around is not dying, and that’s not living.”
She referred to her four children — the youngest of whom reportedly she lost custody because of her issues with mental health — who she says haven’t bothered to come take care of her. She also mentioned the fathers of her children, and that no one has come to help her.
Naturally, fans became wrought with worry after O’Connor’s message, posting thousands of comments to seek help along with comforting notes. Her video, which was posted on August 3, has been viewed 2.2 million times.
Several days later, an anonymous friend or family member notified fans that O’Connor was “receiving the best of care” and insisted the singer “is not suicidal.”
Then, on August 10, O’Connor posted to Facebook herself, saying she’d been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and instead only suffers from depression and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. She informed her fans that she’d “unprofessionally” been taken off medication, but that she was now back on depression and PTSD medication.
In addition to her health update, she also revealed she’d been a victim of domestic abuse, writing:
They are going to send me to live in a community of domestic abuse survivors as they reckon the reason I have not recovered for two yeas is [I’ve] been seeking the wrong help. The fact is I am a victim of domestic abuse and I was too ashamed to admit it. So they will keep me here in this beautiful, loving hospital until they find the right domestic abuse survivors community near here so I can stay linked with the hospital also.
I have also fired my criminal, fraudster manager, Bruce Garfield, and hired a new female manager and a criminal lawyer who will be pressing full charges and sending him to jail…
The details of her alleged domestic abuse are unclear, but in a later post she accused her former manager, Bruce Garfield, of the “facilitation of my suicide four times” — a statement she did not further elaborate on.
Sadly, on Saturday, her painful journey continued. O’Connor posted another video to let fans know an ambulance was in route to pick her up; she was returning to the hospital:
O’Connor, who was visibly distraught during the video, said:
“Ok I’m totally destroyed now again, I’m going to have to go back to the hospital … nightmare.”
She said she’s “just not able to make it outside of the hospital,” adding:
“This is unbearable, unbearable, its abso-f**king-lutley unbearable without my children, my loved ones.”
With a defeated spirit, she admitted she “can’t manage to live at home for 24 hours.”Screenshot/Facebook
However, she did inform fans that she’d be OK, saying the hospital and her medical team are “lovely” and take good care of her.
But the singer concluded with a heartbreaking statement, saying:
“[I’m] such a crazy b*tch. It’s so awful to be so crazy.”
Hours later, the 50-year-old mother of four has posted an update saying she had to be readmitted out of fear she would “swallow all the stupid meds” she was sent home with, and fans have continued to post positive, uplifting messages for the struggling singer.