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Stepdad Questions if It Is OK to Bathe With His Stepson Because the 3-Year-Old Wants To

Sharon McCutcheon/Unsplash

Reddit user Sullie1986 took to the forum-based social media platform to ask fellow stepparents for their help.

According to Sullie1986, he and his “partner” have been together for two years now. His partner is also a mother to a 3-year-old little boy, with whom he says he has a “good relationship.”

The Reddit user explained that the boy’s biological dad doesn’t really “bother with him.”

Sharon McCutcheon/Unsplash

However, while Sullie1986 has known his stepson for two years now, the stepdad recently found himself in uncharted territory:

I usually shower but had a bath today and my step son come in and wanted to get in the bath with me and I said no and his mum come up and took him downstairs and he was confused because he gets in mummys bath. My partner doesn’t have an issue and I’m not really bothered as he will just sit one end and play with his toys but I’m worried about if he says something at nursery and they take it the wrong way.

I was wondering how other people have handled this situation and what people feel about it.

Many other Reddit users saw nothing wrong with the stepdad taking an innocent bath with his young stepson.

Some said:

I think this is one of those subjects in which the right answer is individual to every family.

I say go for it. I was thinking about similar items yesterday. I grew up with minimal contact with my biological father “sperm donor” but from 5 years old to now, late-30’s, my step dad had been my dad.

He has always been and always will be my father. That said, he had some of those lines too, no bath / shower, minimal “snuggles”, etc. As I was laying down with my 3 1/2 year old I was thinking how I was glad I’m able to do it with him and I’m glad I can give him an experience I never had. Do it and enjoy / savor every second!

Yeah, it’s totally okay. I actually feel weird now because I never really took baths with my kids because they are twins and started needing the whole tub pretty early on.

Don’t see why a step dad shouldn’t be able to do something a bio dad would. Sounds like nice bonding time.

And other said that, while it should be up to what the parents are comfortable with, 3 years old may be pushing it when it comes to bathing together:

For me personally, I feel like 3 is a little on the old side to be bathing with a parent…HOWEVER, I know that it’s a common thing to be doing at that age still. My thoughts are that if you and Mom are comfortable/fine with it, then it’s ok to do. Ask yourself this: if he were your biological son, would you be having any doubt? If his bio-dad isnt in the picture (and you are filling the roll), it’s totally understandable and ok for you to treat him as such 🙂

What do you think?

What do you think?

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  1. My daughter and her husband do shower with their little now 8-week old who LOVES his showers…but three may be a bit late for this..! Know that my brother and I took baths together in the early years-but that stopped – don’t remember when, but probably well before school age. I’d say do what is comfortable for all.

  2. Unless you can guarantee the kid won’t talk, don’t do it. This is the stuff Child Protective Services salivates to take on.

  3. Isn’t this sad?

    Seriously, if this is “evolution” … I want nothing of it.

    Case In Point:
    I had a friend who adult children got the CPS called on them.
    Why?
    They took pictures of their new born’s first bath time. Ya, ….. apparently is was “Child Sex”?

    I dunno – we are not growing as a people with all this PC crXp … we are devolving in giant steps.

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