Actress and reality star LaLa Kent teared up with grief while talking about her wedding day.

According to E!, the “Vanderpump Rules” star became engaged to film producer Randall Emmet in September, one day before her 28th birthday. Emmet popped the question during a trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with a $150,000 ring.

Kent announced the engagement the next day by sharing pictures from the romantic getaway on her Instagram.

She wrote:

Last night was the best night of my entire life. I got engaged to the man of my dreams. I get to call this amazing human my fiancé! An engagement last night, my birthday today, and every sign my dad could possibly send me to let me know he’s here. I’m the happiest girl in the world.

Despite her excitement, the actress remains saddened by the thought of her father not being there to walk her down the aisle on her big day.

As E! reports, Kent announced the death of her father in April, although she’s not exactly sure the cause of his “peaceful” death.

She said:

 “There was no massive heart attack. The month before he died, he had a stroke while driving, was in a terrible car accident. His health had been slipping and I think his heart gave out.”

Kent admits that she’s still grieving and says that her dad’s death sent her into an extremely emotional and lost state. However, she acknowledges that some days are better than others.

According to E!, Kent began to tear up during the discussion about her father.

She said:

“I’ve gone through the struggles of wondering who’s going to walk me down the aisle, who’s going to sit there and be a grandfather to my babies. It’s just heartbreaking to me.”

According to Griefwords, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, the director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, says it’s important for those who’ve lost a parent to understand that no one’s grieving process is the same and that it comes with feeling various emotions. They may include sadness, relief (i.e. if the parent was suffering or ill), anger, or guilt.

Dr. Wolfelt advises grievers to embrace their emotions without judging themselves.

As E! reports, Kent has analyzed the ups and downs of her own grieving process and is learning how to deal with it all.

She said:

“I’m in this zone of letting people know that you’re grieving process is something to just hold very close to you. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s not that there’s a right or wrong way to grieve, but there’s a healthy way. It’s just a day-by-day thing. I’m still in the process and I don’t have it figured out. I lost half of who I am. There’s not a minute that goes by where I don’t think about my dad. We were extremely close.”

Dr. Wolfelt recommends that mourners reach out to loved ones for support during their grieving process.

In this case, Kent acknowledges her fiancé as the only person “that knows how to deal with my heart and soul.”

She praises him for being loving and supporting her through thick and thin.

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Reality TV Star Is Still Coping With the Death of Her Father. She Tears up Knowing He’ll Miss Her Wedding Day

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