Taryn Manning, star of Netflix’s hit series “Orange Is the New Black,” is no stranger to playing characters with their fair share of problems. From meth addicts to prostitutes, Manning has made a career out of perfectly portraying what a life full of struggle looks like.

Though in real life she’s no drug addict or hooker, Manning has admitted that, like most people, she definitely has pain in her life.

In fact, she’s dealt with so much pain, it’s now become her “biggest thing” to alleviate.

In a recent interview with People, she opened up about an overwhelming loss in her life — one that doesn’t stem from death:

“I lost my mother, not from death. The hardest part is that my mom is still alive but we’re estranged. It’s really sad to watch a beautiful relationship crumble over b.s.”

She revealed that “outside sources” tore them apart and also that her relationship with her mother isn’t the only one she wants to reconcile. Manning opened up about her brother, who is also estranged, saying:

“Outside circumstances tore that apart.”

Despite her familial struggles, Manning told People she remains hopeful they’ll one day be back in good graces:

“I feel really hopeful about things coming to an end that have been going on. I’ve lost a lot in my life. That is one of my biggest things, to reconcile with my family and for them to understand my side.”

Love protects #lov3 #raverforever

A post shared by Taryn Manning™ (@tarynmanning) on Jun 28, 2017 at 6:08pm PDT

Though she did not elaborate on exactly what went wrong, she did emphasize what she thinks is most important for her and her family to reconcile, telling People:

“The only way you can start with reconciliation is forgiving yourself. And that’s number one, as cliche as that sounds. It’s the most cliche, kind of nerdy thing. Like, ‘You can’t love anybody until you love yourself.’ But it’s true, you really can’t.”

She continued, saying:

“Forgiveness is another form of letting go. I think letting someone go and truly meaning it, it’s a boomerang and they come back around. Because true love always comes back around. And family love should come back around.”

Without any details about the previously mentioned “outside sources” and how they managed to tear apart Manning’s family, it’s unclear how long they’ve been estranged and for what reasons. However, Manning’s optimistic outlook points to the direction of healing for both her and her family’s sake.

To watch the whole interview, check out the video below:

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