Reality TV is, more often than not, the opposite of actual reality, but every once in a while a moment comes along displaying the realest emotions and reactions.
On Tuesday night’s episode of MTV’s “The Challenge XXX: Dirty 30,” one contestant’s very real breakdown led to fans not only wishing they could somehow help, but also to people actually helping.
Ammo, otherwise known as Chris from “The Real World: Go Big or Go Home,” was competing in a sand-wrestling match when he suddenly couldn’t move.
Without warning, the reality TV star collapsed onto the ground and suffered immense difficulty breathing.
No one knew what was going on, not even Ammo himself.
He flew home the following day to receive proper medical treatment and soon learned that what he experienced was a “very intense episode of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).”
In a recent post on crowd-funding site YouCaring, the reality contestant revealed exactly where his PTSD stemmed from:
“In November of 2016 I was raped in my own bed by my former partner. I remember saying ‘no’ and ‘I don’t want to’ but my partner insisted that he was going to ‘make me take it’ and teach me ‘how to be a man.'”
He continued, detailing the painful memory:
“It was painful. It was mortifying. And it was non-consensual. And yet: I still didn’t know that it was rape.”
According to Ammo, it was the aggressive nature of the wrestling match that rendered him “paralyzed”:
“While underneath my opponent, my mind triggered memories of my assault and I was left in a state of panic leaving me totally paralyzed.”
He wrote that it wasn’t until he began undergoing counseling treatment that a social worker informed him he had, in fact, been raped:
“She put her hand on my knee and said: ‘Rape can happen to anyone, by anyone. Sometimes it is the people closest to us who hurt us the most.'”
Now, while he continues to receive the professional help he needs, he’s realized one thing has helped him heal the most: Music. He’s asking friends and fans to donate “so that I can both continue to make my music and get the continued help and support I need.”
As of Thursday morning, he’s raised nearly $1,000, and countless comments of support:Screenshot/YouCaring Screenshot/YouCaring Screenshot/YouCaring Screenshot/YouCaring
He ended the heartfelt admission with a message to others, pleading with people to tell someone if they have or are currently being abused, writing “recovery is possible” if you only ask for help.