While the parenting website, Mumsnet, can sometimes spark a heated debate between users, a pregnant woman’s story about her unborn baby has created a different tone.
Sorry about a depressing thread in what should be a joyous topic. I am 17 weeks pregnant and my baby will not make it to birth.
The woman explained her hopes for the baby’s survival for five more weeks so she could give her child a birth certificate:
My only hope is that he/she will make it to 22 weeks, which would give him or her the right to have a birth certificate here in France.
The woman then revealed she was unable to discuss possible baby names with her husband, alluding to how distraught he was over the sisuation. “DH [dear husband] does not really want to talk about it,” she wrote.
Although knowing her baby will not make it, the woman wrote she had already picked out several names:
For a girl, I like Evangeline (bearer of good news) and Theodora (gift from God). I like Joseph for a boy.
However, neither one seemed fitting for her unborn child:
No name has struck me so far as “the” name — it all seems too early but we will have to make a choice soon.
Mumsnet users were quick to offer their condolences and suggested many options for the right baby name. Many names had spiritual meanings, as well: “I’m so sorry. How about Amias — loved — for a boy.”
“I’m so sorry,” wrote one user. “Evangeline and Theodora are both beautiful names.” The user added:
You may also like:
Dorothea “gift of God”
Bellatrix “female warrior”
Matilda/Mathilde “mighty in battle”
Jemima “little dove”
Beatrice “blessed” or “voyager”
All the very best to you
Included by the commenter were several names for boys as well.
Gabriel “God is my strength”
Nathaniel “gift of God”
Matthew, Matthias “gift of God”
Samson “sun” (plus connotations of strength)
Other commenters shared their experience of losing a child and the importance of the child’s name:
We named our daughter Madeleine from Magdalena/Magdala meaning elevated, magnificent. It’s been over 6 years. Time heals and life offers happiness and blessings to fill the void of such a loss. But your child becomes a part of your family’s tapestry. That pain you feel now becomes a bittersweet comfort over time.
I am so sorry that you are facing such sadness. I am sure you will choose a fitting and meaningful name. Theodora is beautiful. Miriam is another name with meaning: “a wished for child.”
Another commenter wrote:
I’m so sorry to hear that you have received such tragic news about your baby. My dd was stillborn at 32 weeks and we knew from 20 weeks that stillbirth was the most likely outcome. Before finding out, we had chosen a flower related name for a girl. That flower has come to be significant in our remembering her. You could consider something similar as a middle name.
One commenter said:
I am sorry you are Going through this difficult time. We found out at DS2’s [darling son] 20 week scan that his congenital heart condition was probably incompatible with life. I got to 27 weeks and he died in my arms a few hours after being born.
We called him the name we would have given if he had survived. Alexander Louis… He would be 20 now. One does come to terms with it but I know how it hurts.
In the United States, the process for getting a child’s birth certificate varies by state but most parents must apply for the document from the state after the child’s birth, according to Live Strong.
As for the woman determined that her baby obtain a birth certificate, which name do you think she should choose?