“Yeah, that’s my stomach. No, there’s not a baby in there. Just a food baby. A lot of carbohydrates.”
As the mom behind the blog Knee Deep in Life explains, she’s long past worrying about her love of carbs. And because it’s socially unacceptable to tell off people who notice your never-gonna-lose-it baby weight, the mom turned to a different solution.
She ordered shapewear — specifically, a waist cincher/girdle concoction designed to give its wearer a nice, flat stomach. As the mom says in her Facebook video, “I’m pretty sure I’m going to have the stomach of Jennifer Lopez.”
That hope lasted less than a minute.
Even before trying to put it on, the mom noted with concern that it was a bit small: “The only disconcerting thing is I’m pretty sure this is the same size as my thigh.”
She was able to confirm this by slipping it easily onto her thigh. Trying to get it around her waist was another matter entirely.
For a good minute or so, she stretches and strains and wrestles herself into the shapewear, telling herself, “It’s gonna be worth it.” Then, at the moment of triumph (and after sustaining a minor rip in the process), she manages to pull the cincher all the way onto her waist where it immediately rolls up into a painful, immovable rubber band across her middle.
It only takes a few fruitless tugs at the cincher for the mom to realize that she’s stuck, leaving her asking, “Oh my Jesus. Why would I do this?”
Not only is she stuck, it’s also, “really painful.” Not to mention unflattering. As she points out, the middle of her stomach is divided and squashed in by the rolled-up shapewear:
“Look at my bellybutton. It’s like a small vagina.”
In fact, she’s so stuck that she yells for her children to, “come and help mummy,” then contemplates getting scissors to cut her way out again.
And her experience isn’t unique. In the comments on her video, other women came forward with their own shapewear horror stories. One woman shared her experience of getting stuck in a swimsuit in a changing room:
The [swimsuit] had magic tummy and push up bits for boobs. Anyway, I almost dislocated my arm trying to get back out of it and got stuck, had to call for help the assistant couldn’t help for laughing. Stood there with one arm stuck in air and a tit stick over a bra cup is never a good look.
Another wrote: ” I ditched my power pants halfway through my mates wedding yesterday! My internal organs where extremely grateful.”
The mom did eventually get out of the shapewear without the use of scissors. Because her children were occupied and her husband wasn’t home, she wrote that she, “had nothing but a very aggressive tumble with myself for 15 minutes to get it off.”
Under the circumstances, she isn’t going to recommend the shapewear to others: “I’m gonna say don’t buy it ’cause I think I’ve actually just damaged my internal organs.”