Many parents sometimes feel exhausted by parenthood. From screaming babies to angsty teens — raising kids is rarely easy.

But one mom on Reddit said her frustration has reached new heights. She admitted that while she loves her 2-year-old daughter, she “hates” being a mom.

And she’s not the only parent feeling that way based on the responses.

The mom, who goes by the very appropriate username, Frustration1987, wrote:

My husband and I have one child. a two year old girl, and while I can honestly say that I do love her, I really hate being a mom. I will admit this is better than when she was brand new, but I still hate it. I hate the immense responsibility, I hate that all she wants is me a lot of the time. I do my best to be a good mom, we spend a lot of time together since I am a mostly stay at home mom, not by choice and it may be changing soon, hopefully.

She said that she gets excited for her daughter to go to sleep at night so that she “can have time away from her.”

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The mother added that she can’t help but think about what life was like before she became a mom. She wrote:

I wish I knew what it would actually like to be a parent before I decided to get pregnant. I miss my old life, I miss just going out, I miss being able to pick up shifts at work whenever because we didn’t have to worry about child care. I miss being able to be spontaneous with my husband.

The mom even looked to friends who had kids to see if life as a parent “gets better” as kids age.

Unlike them, she never felt sad that her toddler was getting older — she was just happy the girl was gaining independence.

The Reddit user continued:

We are not having anymore children. In large part due to my realizing that I actually hate motherhood, I think this is the best decision, I would actually go crazy if we had another. Thankfully my husband is onboard with this. But I see people getting pregnant and having their second and third kids and I wonder what I’m doing so wrong, and why I hate it so much.

I wish I knew what parenting was really like before I made the decision to have a child. from r/Parenting

She concluded by saying she wasn’t sure what she’d get out of sharing her feelings but hoped for some “reassurance” from other parents.

And sure enough, other moms and dads were quick to chime in.

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Many applauded the mother for being honest about her feelings and said that they could relate to her sentiment. A parent responded:

I love my kid. I hate being a mom.

Another commenter recommended that she look forward rather than backward. They said that’s what they did in a similar situation:

I had someone tell me that I should give up trying to re-create how my life was before having a baby, and that is the most sound advice I’ve gotten yet…. I’ve finally started to embrace the idea of a new chapter, and stopped trying to go back to how it was.

What would you do in this mother’s situation? Let us know in the comments.

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3 Replies to “Mom Says She Loves Her Daughter But ‘Hates’ Being a Parent. Other Moms Say They Know the Feeling”

  • Kelly 1 year ago

    I say find new ways to embrace motherhood.. Often parks, librarys, etc have discovery activities you can go to with your toddler and often free, meet up with old friends at the park while the kids play. You and your husband should schedule a regular date night out alone, And outings as a family even if it’s only a walk down the street.

  • Momof4 1 year ago

    Change is hard. I think we all miss what was on some days but trust me when I say how quickly it all goes. Newborns and toddlers are sweet, fun and funny…also exhausting! You will be amazed when she turns 4 or 5 and actually discovers empathy and understands the world more each day. I think at some point you will have a moment where you understand why people struggle through these moments and have more kids, they really do become fun to share life with…if you have family close by, definitely ask for help so you can have date nights and returning to work, even part time, might be good for your mental health. I commend you for loving your daughter and not taking this out on her but knowing one is enough for you.

  • Elizabeth 1 year ago

    My Mom had five kids one year apart starting at one year, and you want to talk about hard, you should have followed her! She was a great Mom and never once said she hated being a parent, even though she at times was tired! She had two more after the fifth thirteen years later! Now that is hard!

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