career

For Lori Alexander, it’s as clear as black and white.

The grandmother, mom, and wife blogs about motherhood, marriage, and similar issues at The Transformed Wife. She described herself to Dearly as, “an older woman teaching Christian women biblical womanhood according to Titus 2:3-5,” adding, “God commands that I teach young women to be, ‘keepers at home.'”

As part of that mission, Alexander shared a flowchart she created to answer the question, “Should mothers have careers?” In the chart, which she shared on Facebook and Twitter, she compares the life of a working mom to a stay-at-home mom, with an emphasis on the stress and exhaustion working parents face on a regular basis.

In Alexander’s chart, working moms spend all day away from home, their children in the care of others, and then come home, “exhausted.” A working mom’s, “dinner is usually fast food or microwaved,” while the stay-at-home mom’s dinner is, “from scratch, nutritious, and delicious.”

Alexander goes on to say that working moms read to their children before bed, while stay-at-home moms can read, play games, discipline, and teach their children about Jesus, “all day long.”

Posted by The Transformed Wife on Tuesday, December 4, 2018

For working moms, weekends are spent, “cleaning house and shopping,” while stay-at-home moms get to spend, “weekends at beach/park.”

Then there’s the issue of marital intimacy. She writes that the working mom is, “too tired for intimacy with [her] husband,” while the stay-at-home mom is, “intimate with [her] husband frequently.”

She then sums up the difference. For the mom with a career:

Her life is falling apart. She doesn’t feel like she’s a good wife or mother.

While for the stay-at-home mom:

Her life is fulfilling. Her husband and children rise up and call her blessed.

It should come as no surprise that Alexander’s post was controversial. Many commenters were deeply offended at what they considered gross distortions of their lives. One even threatened to report her to Facebook for hate speech.

Screenshot/Facebook
Screenshot/Facebook

Other women weighed in because they disliked the idea of judging personal and family decisions, especially when those decisions might be outside a mom’s control.

Screenshot/Facebook

There were, however, some who agreed with Alexander and posted to say that embracing this view of motherhood made them happier.

Screenshot/Facebook
Screenshot/Facebook

Alexander told Dearly that there’s a specific principle she’s trying to communicate in her flowchart:

“No one can take the place of a mother in a child’s life. A mother home full time has a much better chance of raising secure and emotionally stable children.”

While she’s aware that her post upset and angered some people, Alexander has no intention of apologizing or taking it back. As she told Dearly, “I know this isn’t popular in today’s culture but this doesn’t bother me in the least.”

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4 Replies to “Mom Creates Chart to Explain Why Stay-at-Home Moms Are Happier and Working Moms Aren’t Happy”

  • Anonymous 8 months ago

    I was a woman who was not a stay at home mom. I worked and was blessed to have a husband who wanted me to work and we worked together raising our children. He worked a night shift and I a day shift. My parents were wonderful and would help out with taking our kids to the dentist appointments and at times an after school activity.
    Dinners were nutritious and healthy. Some were eaten around our kitchen island, some at the dinner table but always together.
    We had a busy full schedule but it was filled with lots of together time.
    My working has helped ease the financial burden of my husband having to carry the weight of suppporting a family.
    We took family vacations attended chuch service, sporting events our children were participating in as well as school activities. Along with that my husband was involved in the PTO and I served on the. School board for 12 years.
    I am happy to say we now have finished raising our children. They are successful, secure adults raising my grand children.
    Each person has different circumstances. We now live in a world we’re some moms don’t have a choice to stay home or work. We as women need to be supportive of each other and lend a hand to those we see who are struggling to hold their family together.
    I count my blessings for the life I was able to have with my family.

  • AnnC 8 months ago

    Are you Judgemental Joanie?
    Did you blog this?>>>>>yes

  • Angel 8 months ago

    This assumes a man is paying the bills and a woman working or not is a choice motivated by nothing but her own selfishness. Whoever wrote this is obviously not aware of how life works for most American Families…most need 2 incomes and for single parents not working is not an option. Whoever wrote this is obviously extremely sheltered.

  • Breanne 8 months ago

    This article does not apply to everyone. I know plenty of working moms that still come home and cook and clean. Maybe this is just the crappy kind of mom she would be if she worked or this is the chart she had to show her husband so that she could stay home. I am a stay at home mom and I am rarely home. I drive the kids everywhere plus help out my extended family a lot. I do have a question though, even as a stay at home mom who the heck just teaches about Jesus all day?!?!? This article sucks.

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Mom Creates Chart to Explain Why Stay-at-Home Moms Are Happier and Working Moms Aren’t Happy

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