Anneliese Lawton runs the Facebook page known as “Grown Up Glamour.”
She’s also a mom of two who went viral last week when she talked about her experiences after becoming a mother for the first time.
After my boys were born, there were appointments.To check their latch.To check their weight.To check their…
Lawton wrote, in part:
After my boys were born, there were appointments.
To check their latch.
To check their weight.
To check their hearing.
To check the colour of their skin for signs of jaundice.
There were appointments.
There were regular pokes and prods.
Their well-being was front and [center.]
I’d say, when it comes to our health-care system, they were well taken care of.
But when it came to the aftercare Lawton received after birthing a child, she explains it was almost nonexistent.
Then there was me.
A first-time mom without a clue.
Engorged, bleeding, and stitched up.
Sent home with some painkillers and stool softeners.
Thrown into motherhood with the expectation my instincts would kick in.
That I would know how to handle colic and late night feedings.
That breastfeeding would come as nature intended.
That my husband would sense my spiral into depression.
That I would know how to live in my new and very foreign body.
That this stomach wouldn’t make me feel hideous.
And my mind wouldn’t make me feel less than they deserved.
Not only does no one check on how mothers are doing psychologically, no one really checked on how Lawton was doing physically, either.
No one poked me.
No one prodded.
No one checked my stitches, my healing, or my sanity until eight weeks postpartum.
And even then, it was a pat on the back and I was sent on my way.
Our world forgets about mothers.
We slip through the cracks.
We become background noise.
And in that, we learn our role… our place in our family unit… to always come last.
But as Lawton stressed, that’s not good enough. We shouldn’t put mothers, especially new mothers in new territory, last:
Folks, we can’t put mothers last.
Our babies need us.
To be healthy.
To know that we are worthy.
To know that Motherhood, while natural, can sometimes feel like the least natural role in our life.
And that deserves attention.
Mothers deserve attention.
We need our world to fuss over us the way they fuss over ten fresh fingers and ten fresh toes.
We need to be seen.
We need to be heard.
We need someone to not only ask if we’re okay but to check time and time again, just to be sure.
We’re not just a uterus.
We’re not just a lifeline to a new and precious soul.
And we need someone to make sure we’re ok, too.
Lawton’s post garnered over 30,000 shares and thousands of comments, mainly from other mothers who shared similar after-birth experiences.
I totally agree with this! Add to this C sections and that we have other children at home to care for right after birth! We need a village people!
Just in case you needed a reminder that new moms all feel like you will some days!
Ask for help .. I did .. I needed it. That’s the beauty of motherhood. You have a wealth of knowledge to draw from. And ask ..
Very true.!!! I felt alone , and did EVERYTHING by myself even with a husband here.
aaaand crying. so accurate!
If you have a new mother in your life, let this be a reminder to extend a helping hand — odds are they will probably be grateful for it.