A working mom’s opinion piece is sparking some debate among parents after she admitted, “I’ve picked my job over my kids.”
Lara Bazelon, a lawyer and a law professor, wrote in the New York Times that she’s never found a way to balance her career with motherhood because it’s not “achievable.”
Though she’s a single parent and therefore has to provide for her children, Bazelon emphasized that she puts work first for other reasons:
I prioritize my work because I’m ambitious and because I believe it’s important. If I didn’t write and teach and litigate, a part of me would feel empty.
However, getting fulfillment through work means that she misses out on important milestones in her children’s lives. She wonders if her “choices will damage them.”
Sometimes my choices make me sad. My daughter’s seventh birthday was the worst. She cried, and I did everything I could not to. I felt sick to my stomach. But I had a trial starting the next day, six hours away.
Now, however, the mom said she thinks her children “get it.”
Bazelon added that if she were a single father, then society would probably view her differently:
Of course, I sometimes feel doubt, shame and fear. I know I’m not a “normal” mom, because my kids tell me so. I remind myself that this does not make me a “bad mom.” I also remind myself that if I were a dad, I would be getting accolades for all the times I scheduled a doctor’s appointment or arranged a play date.
The mom’s admission led to a flood of mixed feelings in the comments section.
One top-voted comment read, in part:
I’m not buying it. There are thousands of highly competent lawyers out there — some would say a glut. Everyone has only one Mom…
I wish my mom prioritized herself some, and had more sources of meaning in her life outside her kids. I think she would be a happier, more fulfilled old lady. And you know, that impacts her kids too.
Former “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria similarly spoke out about being a working mom recently.
Regarding raising her 1-year-old and acting at the same time, she advised, “You just do it and get it done.”
What do you think about Bazelon’s words? Let us know in the comments.