Meri Brown, one of the stars of TLC’s “Sister Wives,” was Kody Brown’s first wife.

The pair got married in 1990 and stayed married until 2014. Meri divorced Kody so that he could legally marry his fourth wife, Robyn, and adopt her three children from a different relationship.

Between his four wives, Kody has 18 children. Six of them are with Christine, six with Janelle, and five with Robyn. Meri and Kody have one child together, Mariah, who came out as gay last year.

This girl. She is my life, my miracle. I am so proud of the woman she has become. I am overwhelmed today as she graduates college. College?! Where has the time gone? She has brought me such joy and happiness and I am so honored and blessed to be her mom. She has loved every minute of her years at Westminster, and I know she is struggling that her time there is coming to an end. But I know that whatever she does in her future will be amazing, because whatever she does, she does with her whole heart and soul. My only wish for her is true and complete happiness & peace, however that translates for her. I am so proud of her, her leadership & accomplishments, and I am forever blessed to have this amazing person for a daughter. I love you Mariah! ♡♡♡

A post shared by Meri Brown (@lularoemeribrown) on May 13, 2017 at 8:29pm PDT

As Hollywood Life reports, Meri struggled with infertility throughout her 24-year marriage to Kody. The show once detailed how she felt about only being able to have one child with her husband, while the other sister wives were able to get pregnant without fail.

Robyn even offered to be the surrogate so that Meri and Kody could have a second child together, but Meri respectfully declined the offer.

In line for the Cars ride! Thank heaven for fast pass! @mariahbrown2 @audreykriss #LivingMyWhy

A post shared by Meri Brown (@lularoemeribrown) on Jul 30, 2017 at 5:51pm PDT

Now, Meri is revealing that her struggle included even more heartbreak 10 years ago.

She posted a photo of a saying on Instagram, detailing the memory of the son she lost in 2007:

The 46-year-old wrote:

The joy I felt when I found out he was coming was beyond amazing. The pain I felt when I realized that dream wouldn’t become a reality was an almost unbearable grief. Passing years ease the pain, but will never diminish the memories and the love. September’s come and go, and each year I wonder what he would have looked like, who he would have been, and what would have been in his future. He’d be 10 this month, maybe this week, maybe even today. My heart has been on him so much lately. I will always wonder, I will always love.

Hundreds of people commented on Meri’s post, detailing their own losses and offering their condolences:

Meri Brown/Instagram

It’s unclear as to why Meri is opening up about this now.

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Star of ‘Sister Wives’ Opens up About Heartbreak She and Kody Brown Experienced 10 Years Ago

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