Actress Kate Mara said the idea of not experiencing birth the way she’d planned was devastating.
As People reports, Mara, 36, opened up on “Dr. Berlin’s Informed Pregnancy Podcast” about how cholestasis prevented her from having a home birth.
As the American Pregnancy Association reports, cholestasis is a pregnancy disease affecting the liver. It is when the increased amounts of pregnancy hormones alter the normal movement of bile.
After testing positive for the disease, doctors induced Mara into labor at only 36 weeks pregnant and gave her an epidural.
Shortly after, the “House of Cards” actress developed a 102-degree fever, prompting the cesarean section.
Further, Mara explained:
“I know a lot of people that have had c-sections that are not planned, that they don’t want to have happen. And most of those people, most of my friends, have said, ‘I just wanted the baby out. I was actually asking for a c-section.’ But to me, it was [not like that].”
The wife of actor Jamie Bell said she managed to remain relaxed for a majority of her three-day hospital stay.
“I kept really calm for most of those three days but right before I went in for the c-section, that’s when I sort of [felt] the devastation of it and the disappointment of not being able to experience a birth any way that I had hoped.”
However, the new mom said the most overwhelming emotion she felt was fear.
“It was more that I was so scared to have the c-section, to have this surgery. I was genuinely terrified of what that meant and what could happen and all of these things, and then of course just being tired made me that much more scared, I think.”
Luckily, the procedure went fine and seemed to be all worth it once she saw her daughter. However, the mom was still shaken with emotion.
“I was like, ‘When am I going to stop shaking?’ I thought my teeth were going to pop out, my jaw was clenched so tight from the shakes, and then I thought, ‘I definitely can’t hold her because I can’t move.’ My arms were locked. My husband brought her over to me and he kind of held her on my chest and it was amazing, but it was not at all what I imagined it would be. I could barely keep my eyes open to look at her.”
Although Mara’s labor experience didn’t go as planned, she said she wouldn’t do anything differently. Having her daughter arrive safely is all that mattered.