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Jessa Duggar Shares Poignant Message to ‘Mamas’ Who Have Lost Children, After Sister-in-Law Reveals Miscarriage

Just before the premiere of the new season of TLC’s “Counting On,” Josiah Duggar and his wife, Lauren, revealed that their first pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage.

As Dearly previously reported, Josiah admitted he knew something was wrong with Lauren when she started feeling sick:

“She was feeling really sick and started noticing some different things. [Lauren’s mom] Mrs. Swanson was there, so she was able to kind of help her out. I didn’t know exactly what was going on.”

At the same time Lauren was going through a miscarriage, her sister-in-law Jessa Seewald also became pregnant for the third time.

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Many of yall don't know this, but a couple of months ago we found out we were expecting, however, soon after we miscarried. At first, we kind of wanted to just stay quiet about the news, but knew that since everyone is anticipating for us to announce that were having a baby, we felt like it was time that we told everyone that our first and only baby is in heaven. It is hard to hear when people asks us if we are expecting, when we only recently lost our baby. You can imagine it was devastating to the both of us. Our expectations of setting up a baby room, hearing the heart beat, feeling the baby's first kick in mommys tummy, holding our little one and getting to to see our precious baby were – Shattered. Gone. Right before our eyes. Even though our sweet child is no longer with us, it is such a comfort to know that one day we will get to see our baby in Heaven! To the ones who have gone through this, I know your pain. It’s real and terrible. I just want you to know you don’t have to suffer in pain alone. It is not your fault. We greatly appreciate your prayers as we go through this hard time! Love, -Josiah and Lauren #countingon #TLC #miscarriage #ourbabyisafeinthearmsofjesus

A post shared by Josiah and Lauren Duggar (@siduggar) on

As Jessa revealed on Instagram, she and Lauren were due at the exact same time:

Pregnancy— such a precious gift, and definitely not something I take for granted.

As we look forward to meeting our baby, we’re also feeling an exceptional amount of grief over my brother Josiah and sister-in-law Lauren’s loss of their baby. Lauren and I shared the exact same due date. We have cried so many tears, both together and apart.

Jessa, who is a mom to 3-year-old Spurgeon and 2-year-old Henry, continued:

My heart aches for them. I weep when I think of how difficult it must be for her to see me pregnant in the very stages where she would’ve been— right up through the baby’s due date. And yet, even in a flood of emotions, there are perplexities of the human heart that may cause us to want to clam up or remain silent through such a trial. Because of this, many people feel like they’re walking this road alone.

The soon-to-be mom of three went on to commend Lauren on how graciously she has handled the heartbreaking situation.

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#25weeks Pregnancy— such a precious gift, and definitely not something I take for granted. As we look forward to meeting our baby, we’re also feeling an exceptional amount of grief over my brother Josiah and sister-in-law Lauren’s loss of their baby. Lauren and I shared the exact same due date. We have cried so many tears, both together and apart. My heart aches for them. I weep when I think of how difficult it must be for her to see me pregnant in the very stages where she would’ve been— right up through the baby’s due date. And yet, even in a flood of emotions, there are perplexities of the human heart that may cause us to want to clam up or remain silent through such a trial. Because of this, many people feel like they’re walking this road alone. It is true that speaking for the sake of filling silence is not needful and is often hurtful. I’ve watched Lauren converse with people who have been unknowingly insensitive, and I am amazed by her graciousness. I’ve heard some try to give reasons or explanations, not realizing that their unsolicited opinions might be very painful, like salt to a wound. One might never know the tears you cry at night as a result of their words flowing back through your head. Often times, “I love you and I’m praying for you” along with a hug are quite sufficient. We do not need to fill every silence with words. But at the same time, conversations of lost dreams should never feel suppressed. Silence can stifle healing, but a carefully chosen word may work to help bring life and healing to the soul. We must all reinforce the fact that emotions over a life lost are not something to be resisted. They’re not wrong, and you should never think that for a moment. If you’ve lost a child, know this— YOU ARE A MAMA, and you will never cease to think about and cherish the life you carried… **swipe left to read more**

A post shared by Jessa Seewald (@jessaseewald) on

Jessa wrote:

It is true that speaking for the sake of filling silence is not needful and is often hurtful. I’ve watched Lauren converse with people who have been unknowingly insensitive, and I am amazed by her graciousness. I’ve heard some try to give reasons or explanations, not realizing that their unsolicited opinions might be very painful, like salt to a wound. One might never know the tears you cry at night as a result of their words flowing back through your head. Often times, “I love you and I’m praying for you” along with a hug are quite sufficient.

We do not need to fill every silence with words. But at the same time, conversations of lost dreams should never feel suppressed. Silence can stifle healing, but a carefully chosen word may work to help bring life and healing to the soul. We must all reinforce the fact that emotions over a life lost are not something to be resisted. They’re not wrong, and you should never think that for a moment.

If you’ve lost a child, know this— YOU ARE A MAMA, and you will never cease to think about and cherish the life you carried.

As the Duggars have shared in the past, Lauren’s mother-in-law, Michelle Duggar, also suffered a lost pregnancy back in 2011, when their daughter Jubilee Shalom Duggar was stillborn on December 11.

Michelle shared a video where she talked about the grieving process she went through:

Jessa added:

So no matter how hard or difficult the journey, please don’t feel guilt over this. You’ll never stop wondering all of the details, from what the baby would like, hair color, eye color, personality, etc. It’s only natural. Your tender heart just goes to show what a loving, caring person you are — that you care so keeping for the one you were only graced only [to] hold for such a short time.

My heart aches for you as topics of babies or pregnancy arise in conversation. it is likely you were already well aquatinted with the first trimester symptoms of nausea, food aversions and fatigue, and you would’ve given anything to have had the opportunity to labor and deliver your baby, no matter how long or painful the process. When complaining or grumblings or are verbalized over colicky babies or sleep that’s been broken up for night feedings — Oh, what you wouldn’t give to be in their shoes!

We do continue to pray that God will bless you with a baby to hold in your arms, but this is not to insinuate that having another will remove the grief over one that’s been lost. That life can never be replaced and will forever hold a special place in your heart.

Thousands of Jessa’s Instagram followers thanked her for the poignant message.

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  1. I am so sorry for their loss. I remember taking my 82 year old mother to the store one day and she told me for the first time about losing her first baby something that was not mentioned at all. The baby was a beautiful baby girl and born alive after a most difficult breech birth at home which they did more home births back in 1940. The baby died several hours later in her and my dad’s arms. She said the pain was so deep. I myself was now a mother and I looked at her and saw her pain she was feeling and had carried all those years. Before my mother passed away she said I will see my baby Edna in Heaven. If it weren’t for faith it would be difficult to deal with loss.

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