“Married At First Sight” stars Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner are one of the few dating show success stories. However, while their unconventional love story has been a hit, their journey towards starting a family was met with devastation right away.

After announcing they were pregnant with their first child in July of 2016, Jamie and Doug were ecstatic. Sadly, their joy was only short-lived; Jamie miscarried their son at just four months along.

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The loss left the pair reeling, but Jamie remained open about her experiences, giving other women who have gone through a similar period a platform to share their own stories, as well.

Eventually, Jamie and Doug’s pain turned into joy once again when they learned they were pregnant a second time — this time with a baby girl, whom they welcomed in August 2017.

The new parents believe their Henley Grace is a gift from her older brother, who they now say is their guardian angel watching down on them.

And while Jamie couldn’t love her baby girl more, she recently admitted to the Daily Mail that she’s been struggling with balancing those feelings of love with the grief she still feels over the loss of her son:

“When I had her, I couldn’t help but think, ‘Is this what Johnathan (sic) would have looked like if he was able to be full grown?'”

According to Jamie, she thought the mourning period would end once her baby girl entered the world. When that didn’t happen, Jamie was admittedly “surprised.”

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She continued:

“It’s weird to have so much happiness and joy and love for a baby who is here, but also have so much wonder [while] mourning the loss of the baby who is not able to be with you. I wasn’t quite over it yet, and I’m still not quite over it yet. It’s hard sometimes, but there is not a second I don’t love my daughter, and I am so thankful for her. I just also wonder what he would have been if he had been here.”

Jamie and Doug still do little things to keep Jonathan’s memory alive, including personalized Christmas tree ornaments and donating presents to a little boy in need who is the same age as Johnathan would be.

They also planted a tree in their backyard in his honor and hung up a pair of angel wings in Henley’s nursery so that she knows her big brother is always watching over her.

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Doug explained to the Daily Mail:

“We are definitely always going to keep Jonathan in our hearts. And once Henley is old enough, she is going to know who her brother is, and she going to know she has someone, a bigger brother watching over her at all times.”

Hanley’s birth comes just four months before their spin-off show, “Jamie and Doug Plus One,” which premieres on Lifetime at 9 p.m. on December 19.

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