In honor of National Breastfeeding Month, one husband is sharing his thoughts on breastfeeding and the tips he’s come up with after watching his wife breastfeed their own children.
At the beginning of the month of August, a wife thought other women might enjoy reading her husband’s “Breastfeeding Tips for Men.” So she shared those tip with the popular Facebook page, known as “Breastfeeding Mama Talk.”
First, the woman’s husband, Paul Spadone, explained why he came up with the tips and why he thought it was important to share them:
In honor of breastfeeding week, I feel like it is important to also share a husband’s perspective on breastfeeding despite the fact that I neither have the proper human anatomy nor the desire to ever have another human latched on to my nipples. I have supported [my wife] through her breastfeeding journey with all three of our children and there are two things I can say for certain; Women have extraordinary bodies and breasts are forever ruined for me. However, those two things are certainly not the only things that I have learned along the way so below is a list compiled from a man’s perspective. I call it Breastfeeding Tips For Men.
The first tip explained how watching his wife breastfeed their three children have made things less exciting for him.
He said, in part:
After seeing your wife whip them out 8+ times a day to feed your newborn child, you soon become accustomed to just seeing boobs on a daily basis everywhere you go.
The man’s second tip; he’s tried her breast milk, but “does it taste good? No. Enough said!”
Breastfeeding has also helped the husband and wife find another commonality; they both “hate” the breast pump:
If it is not for the loud irritating sound of the pump itself or the fact that you have to listen to this constant sucking/slurping (and the occasional farting sound) of your wife’s boobs being milked, then it is the actual visual experience of watching your wife’s nipples being pulled and stretched repeatedly.
Spadone’s fourth tip, “DO NOT TOUCH THEM.”
As he explains, it’s in the husband’s best interest to respect what their wife’s body has just gone through:
They are sore and worn out so it is my advice that you just keep your hands to yourself…
Next, the man said “clean the bottles.” As he explained, men can’t be hands-on during the breastfeeding process, but they can be helpful by cleaning the bottles and other parts of the breast pump.
"My husband wrote this… thought y’all might like it! In honor of breastfeeding week I feel like it is important to…
Then the husband continued with his last and final two tips:
6) Don’t mess with her! The mother of your child is now locked and loaded with two on demand milk squirt guns and she will use them! On several occasions I have pulled a few innocent practical jokes only to later on be confronted with a face full of breast milk in the form of revenge. Beware!
7) New Fathers, heed my warning. Sagging will occur! Do your best to burn the image of your woman’s breasts in your mind pre-pregnancy because those hooters will no longer be the same. […] Now that you know this, keep your mouth shut. Your woman will already be insecure about the transformation her body has experienced and the last thing she needs is your dumba** pointing out the obvious. Support her through the changes and tell her how beautiful she is.
Spadone concluded by telling men that they need to be both “patient and supportive”:
…The bottom line is that those boobies, breasts, knockers, hooters, whatever you want to call them, are now the life source to your new child. Protect them, cherish them and honor them because even though they are no longer yours, your new baby depends on them.
However, the man’s “tips” brought mixed reactions with some people finding them funny and accurate, while others said his tips weren’t “very cute,” but rather “pretty rude:
I hope no one says these things to their wife.
What do you think?