Note: This article contains coarse language that may offend some readers.
At first, Brad Kearns had a typical response to being tagged on Facebook by his wife. He ignored it.
Every day she tags me in stuff on Facebook. Every day. Like several times a day. As if she bounces around the internet…
As the 28-year-old blogger and father of two wrote on his Facebook page, his wife loves to share things with him by tagging him online:
Every day she tags me in stuff on Facebook. Every day. Like several times a day. As if she bounces around the internet just looking for random s**t to let me know is out there. Memes, events, stories, etc.
Like many husbands, Kearns’s first instinct was to disregard the things his wife was sharing. In fact, he found it irritating:
I used to find it annoying. I didn’t really know why half of it was relevant.
And Kearns isn’t the only husband to feel that way. Now that he blogs as DaDMuM, Kearns often sees his own posts shared with other husbands. And they respond just as he might have. He wrote:
Women tag men in basically everything I ever post. I always see the same reply of, “I ain’t reading that,” or, “too long.”
But when he started to pay more attention to the stories and photos his wife was sharing with him, Kearns realized something important. The tags are his wife’s way of communicating with him through the day. Sometimes they even help her say things she couldn’t express herself. Kearns wrote:
Over time, I’ve learned that she tags me in s**t because it’s either funny, insightful or relevant to us and our relationship. Sometimes it helps her tell me something because it’s so relevant and she couldn’t have said it better herself. I try to make a point of acknowledging it. It doesn’t take any effort at all.
Not only did Kearns find that his wife was using tags to talk about things that are important to her, but it also opened up their communication. Far from being pointless, the tagged posts helped Kearns understand his wife better.
To be honest, it helps me gauge where she’s at and what she’s looking at online. Sometimes it forms the basis of our conversations when I get home. So often I come home to a, “Did you see that thing I tagged you in?” As silly as it sounds, it helps us communicate.
Kearns warns that men who ignore those tags are cutting off communication with the women in their lives:
The conversation goes no further. Whatever message she was trying to send him was rejected because of sheer arrogance and inability to take a few f**king seconds to read something that was probably important to how she was feeling.
Kearns points out how rude it would be to ignore his wife in person … so why would he do it online? He wrote:
If she tagged you in it, she wants you to look at it. If you were at the park and she said, “Hey look at that,” would you ignore it? Would you make a snide remark about how much effort it will take you to see it? I think not.
Unsurprisingly, Kearns’s recommendation to “read the post” resulted in lot more tagging in the comments.
Kearns concluded with a simple message for men:
“Show her you love her. Let her know you care. Read the f**king post!”