“What time do you think you’ll be home?”
For Brad, the creator of the DaDMuM blog, this fairly simple question used to irritate him more than anything.
He explained in a Facebook post:
It’s been the same message every day for years now. Usually beginning in the afternoon and even more so around work finish time. […] And it always pissed me off. The amount of stupid fights and bickers we’ve had over what time I’m leaving work and what time I’ll be home is f**king ridiculous.
I would be so busy trying to finish off my day while getting messages and then at five on the dot you could bet your a** my phone [would] ring. Eventually I’d get to the end of my tether and reply, “I’m busy… just leave me a plate out.”
Brad said he was “just a dude trying to work hard so he can get home as quickly as he could.”
But after years of being annoyed with his wife for asking the question, he finally “got it.” Brad now finally understands why his wife asked him, even though more times than not it ended in an argument.
Brad’s wife wasn’t trying to be irritating, she just genuinely wanted to know when her husband and the father of his children would be home. He explained:
Here’s the thing; She knows I’m working hard. She knows I’m busy. She knows I’d rather be at home and she knows I’m not just chilling out while she’s prepping for the night routine alone. It wasn’t ever about that.
She just wants to know when I think I’ll be back. She wants to know if we’re eating dinner together like a couple or separately. She wants to know if she‘s telling the boys they won’t be seeing daddy again before they go to sleep. And if we’ll get to spend some time watching our favorite shows and having conversation or not.
She’s not useless and she’s not relying on me to keep the house running. And she’s not questioning whether I would rather be home than at work.
She literally just wants to know.
His wife commented on the post saying, “We love you. Home just isn’t complete without you.”
Brad told his followers not to be like him and encouraged other husbands out there to just “send the message as soon as you know.”
He added that “it’s just as quick to give the time with a ‘xoxo’ as it is to reply how busy you are,” because “that’s all she ever needed to hear.”