Hoda Kotb said she knows what it feels like to pray and wait long for something but feel like it’s all in vain.

For many years, the “Today” co-host hoped for motherhood but thought she would never be able to fulfill that dream.

As reported by People, during an interview for the “Thrive Global Podcast” Kotb told Arianna Huffington, after being unable to conceive post-breast cancer, the 54-year-old thought she would miss out on one of the greatest joys of her life.

Kotb reflected:

“I knew after cancer, and after all of that, they basically said, ‘You could freeze your eggs, you could do this, you could do that, but it’s unlikely that anything would work.’ And, I remembered almost blocking how devastating that was.”

She said:

“At the time, I was going through a separation that would lead to a divorce. It was like, horrible things were happening at the same time, and I kept thinking this is an avalanche of pain. How do people, how does anyone deal with this?”

Before becoming a mother to her adopted daughter Haley Joy with boyfriend Joel Schiffman, Kotb revealed she tried to “push away” her strong desire to have a child before pursuing adoption.

She continued:

“I talked to myself and I said, ‘You have so many blessings in your life, here’s something you don’t get. You don’t get children. It’s not the end of the world.”

The host started to give up on becoming a parent and assumed that maybe she could impact children through teaching one day after she retired from “Today.” Kotb reflected:

“We were just brought up to believe in God. We were all about that, and I feel like when you have a relationship with God, and I feel like I’ve had endless, countless, abundant conversations about it. Sometimes you think, can he hear me? Does he hear me? Am I just talking to myself? Is it for real?

But, I think when Haley arrived, I didn’t have any doubt in that belief, but when Haley arrived, it was personified. Literally when I watch her now, I just feel like she’s proof of everything. Like, everything. Yeah. She’s the best.”

Earlier this year on Mother’s day the mother-of-one expressed her gratitude for Haley with her colleagues, reports Today.

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Kotb is still amazed her prayer for motherhood was answered at 52.

About the author

Tiffani is a writer for Dearly. She is from New York City. Prior to working for Dearly she covered fashion news and managed social media for various digital media outlets.

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