Jeff Hardy’s wedding ring is more than a piece of jewelry. It’s a reminder of how to maintain a happy marriage.
As husband and father from Oklahoma wrote on Facebook, he was scrubbing his wedding ring the other day (he even has a dedicated toothbrush he uses for the job) when he started pondering, “how cleaning my wedding ring kind of symbolizes a healthy marriage for me.”
A self-described “guy’s guy,” Hardy needs to clean the ring about once a week:
My hands stay constantly banged up and dirty. I work on cars, they get cut. I work on the yard, they get dirty. My ring bares the brunt of those things as well. That’s why I clean it.
But Hardy’s effort to keeping his ring clean can be puzzling to others. He says his friends have asked why he bothers to scrub his ring when it will inevitably get dirty again. They point out, “You’re the man, no one cares how pretty your ring is.”
Washing my wedding ring:So this morning I was cleaning my wedding ring, I do it about once a week or so. I have this…
Hardy’s response is simple: “Here’s the thing. IT.DOES.MATTER.”
As he went on to explain, “every time I clean it it reminds me of the small things in our marriage I should be doing.”
It starts with just being there for his wife:
When my wife comes home from work, have I listened to her day — like really listened? Put down my phone, turn off the TV, and make her day the center of my world listen, so that she feels like her day really matters to me because it does.
Beyond listening, there’s showing her that he’s present, enjoying his time with her — even when they’re just watching television:
While we’re laying in bed watching our favorite show at night, did I reach over and scratch her back or play with her hair, letting her know, “Yes we may just be watching a show together but make no mistake, I know your next to me and you are the center of my world”?
Then there are the small gestures — the things that demonstrate that he’s thinking about his wife and what would make her day a little better:
Have you stopped by her work lately and brought her a coke, or maybe her favorite candy? It doesn’t have to be extravagant, just something small to let her know, “Hey I was thinking about you and I thought you would like this.”
There are no grand, sweeping romantic gestures mentioned. But that’s not what keeps love alive. Hardy explained:
You don’t just “fall out of love” one day when you wake up. It happens over time, because you stopped doing the little things. You stopped courting her. (That, by the way, shouldn’t stop once you marry, that should enhance.) You stopped trying to impress.
For Hardy, keeping your marriage healthy means treating each day as a chance to show your wife what she means to you:
Everyday I wake to my wife, I pretend she is a stranger that I am madly in love with and think, “How today can I make her fall in love with me?”
Hardy’s post has been shared on Facebook more than 236,000 times. And many of the commenters agreed with his advice.
So Hardy will continue to pay attention to the cleanliness of his wedding band — just like he pays attention to the state of his marriage. He concluded:
“The small things matter, gentlemen. So yes, I will continue to wash my wedding ring…”