A 29-year-old mom-to-be, who goes by Bhloom on Reddit, claimed that her significant other threw hot coffee on her in anger.
She wrote on Reddit that “over the last while,” she has been noticing her 28-year-old boyfriend’s “negative behavior becoming more common.”
So me (29F) and my SO (28M) have been together for over 4 years now. Been living together for about 2 of those and are expecting our first child in a couple of weeks. Over the last while I’ve noticed negative behavior becoming more common, the constant criticism mainly, telling me how bad I am whenever I do something wrong or how useless I am. Whenever I try to change something, like generally being cleaner, I get told how I’m not trying hard enough.
The soon-to-be mom added that she has been nesting and working hard to get the apartment ready for their little bundle of joy’s arrival.
However, most of what she has done around the house hasn’t been good enough for her boyfriend, who allegedly continues to tell her that she’s “generally useless” and not good at cleaning, adding that it takes her too long to get things done.
The woman continued on Reddit by explaining why her boyfriend purposely spilled coffee on her leg:
Today though I had to go to an appointment. This means that SO has to drive me. I assumed he would drop me in town then go and work from home as I had booked an app to get my hair cut but he drove me and stayed in town (while I appreciate this, I understand how awkward it is, especially with work. I failed my driving test last year and honestly didn’t try hard enough after that to pass, I let it slide).
While we were parked up I went to get coffee and a sandwich for him. Got back and he said the coffee is leaking, I didn’t put the lid on properly. I checked the seam and I had, tried explaining that the lid off the cup had absorbed some of the liquid and wasn’t creating a proper seal. After telling me again that it was leaking he took the cup and tilted it over my leg in the car, causing shove off it to soak my leg. I got upset as to why he would do that intentionally, he said yes, it was intentional but he didn’t mean for that much to spill. He then proceeded to tell me how useless I was because I didn’t know where the place I was going to get my hair cut was. When I again got upset, he told me how I have the emotional maturity of a 6 year old and how he can’t do anything to me without me getting upset. I was then told to “just shut up” when I started asking questions. We parked, I asked did he really not want the rest of his coffee (he had not had anything to eat or drink and it was almost noon), so he poured his coffee out on the ground and told me to get out of the car.
The Reddit user went on to say that she doesn’t know how to process her boyfriend’s behavior or what to think about it.
To which other Reddit users encouraged her to leave her boyfriend, calling him “abusive”:
Your SO is abusive. This has turned into physical abuse. It won’t get better and you need to get away from this shitty person. Do you want your kid growing up thinking it’s ok to treat the person you love like your SO treats you?
There is no part of this relationship that isn’t bad for you and bad for your child. Leave him. Your tone is the classic tone of the emotionally abused, and raising a child in that environment is a very bad idea.
This sounds like an abusive relationship. Why isn’t he helping with the cleaning? I would take some time and go stay with a friend or family member and think about how you want your relationship to move forward. I don’t even know if counseling would work now that he has turned violent. If he could purposefully burn you while you are pregnant with his child, I hate to think what else he is capable of….
The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines domestic abuse as “a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.”
According to the Hotline, some signs of an abusive relationship include:
- Tells you that you can never do anything right
- Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
- Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
- Insults, demeans, or shames you with put-downs
- Controls every penny spent in the household
- Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
- Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
- Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
- Prevents you from making your own decisions
- Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
- Prevents you from working or attending school
- Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
- Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
- Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
- Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol
Other users admitted to being upset after Bhloom’s story.
If you or someone you know has found themselves in an abusive relationship, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.