A mom admits that she has been left discouraged after her friend discredited the way in which she gave birth to her child.
According to a post on Mumsnet, a user by the name of “Reallyreallyreally1” said her friends discredited her birth story because she had to have a c-section.
So I had a baby boy 5 months ago and recently met up with some friends whose children are older. Haven’t seen them since the baby.
I generally don’t talk about the birth because no one really wants to know about someone else’s experience, but they did ask so I briefly told them (induction, back to back labour til fully dilated, pushing with episiotomy and forceps, emcs).
However, the mom did not expect the reaction she ultimately received from her friends after sharing her birth story with them.
According to “Reallyreallyreally1,” her friends accused her of not really knowing what it is like to have a baby because she had a c-section:
One of them said ‘so you’ve come away from that thinking that you know what it’s like to have a baby’. Wtf does that even mean? I said ‘I don’t get what you mean by that!’
She said ‘you’ve not given birth properly, you’ve not been in transition, you’ve only done the easy bit. So many women think they’ve given birth but they have no idea’.
The mom admitted that she didn’t know how to react to her friend’s comments so they “just changed the subject.”
However, she did say that her friend’s words “left a nasty taste” in her mouth, but is now left wondering if her friend is “right”:
Maybe she’s right and I’ve only had the easy bit (in which case I would hate to see the next bit!!) but surely no one really thinks like this about labour?
My other friend didn’t agree but didn’t necessarily disagree; she said that a section is the easy option but if your body can’t give birth properly then it’s not your fault.
Now the mom wants to know if this is how most people view c-sections as a form of childbirth. However, other Mumsnet user assured the mom that isn’t the case:
That person is not a friend. What a horrible thing to say.
She sounds horrid. Of course you’ve given birth – your baby has been born so you must have done! And it sounds like your birth was much harder than mine, where my baby did come out vaginally. Ignore her…
Err… no. They sound ridiculous. And actually for me, actually pushing the baby out was the easy bit! The hard bit was the hours and hours of contractions leading up to it.
Your friend’s attitude is disgraceful and shocking. I would definitely distance myself from her. Who the hell does she think she is to be so judgemental.
How would you handle this type of situation?