One Reddit user’s six-year relationship with her boyfriend had been going very well… or so she thought.
They talked about marriage and her ideal proposal. According to her post, she had always dreamed of being asked for her hand in marriage surrounded by a small group of her family and closest friends— so that’s exactly what her boyfriend did.
Our anniversary is New Year’s Eve and a friend was hosting a party with a handful of our other mutual friends. I kind of knew what was coming up. He was jittery and nervous, acting super awkward the whole night. Right at 11:59, he gets down on one knee, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared at me and kept opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to say something. I knew it was happening, and I was just so excited. I was crying, our friends were gasping.
The Reddit user had no idea that her boyfriend of six years was having second thoughts mid-proposal.
As the ball began to drop and the friends surrounding them began to cheer, her boyfriend started shaking his head. She said:
At midnight, the ball dropped on the TV, and we all heard the cheering, and my boyfriend shook his head and got up, and told me, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I just can’t do this.” And he left.
That was the last she ever heard from him.Mixmike/Getty Images
As she wrote on Reddit, what was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of their lives turned into her most embarrassing moment. The whole ordeal left her questioning if she had pushed him too hard to do something he wasn’t quite ready to do.
If he hadn’t wanted to propose, I wouldn’t care if he just didn’t. I wouldn’t care if he told me. I wouldn’t care. I want to spend my life with him, and if that meant not getting engaged and married, I wouldn’t care. What I care about is him getting on one knee, watching me cry and look so excited, then tell me he “can’t do this.” I feel like it’s almost my fault. I mean, did I ask for too much?
According to the Reddit user, her boyfriend never came back to their house. He refused to use any form of communication to get in touch with her.
It’s left her feeling “endlessly betrayed” by the man she’s lived with for four years and given six years of her life to:
He hasn’t called, hasn’t texted, hasn’t emailed, hasn’t even snail mailed. I miss him. I went into 2018 alone and confused and scared, and it’s just stayed that way ever since. I feel like he owes me at least half an apology. I’ve texted him, called him, done my part- and he always reads it (he has read receipts on) or declines the call. I’m so worn out.
She said she feels like her estranged boyfriend is “ghosting” her, something she never thought she would have to deal with after six years together.
Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. It’s an act that has become very common amongst the Millennial generation.
Eventually, a mutual friend came clean and told her that her estranged boyfriend was hiding out at a “girlfriend’s house” and doesn’t have any plans of coming back.
Now the Reddit user is left wondering what she should do next. Should she just try to move on with her life without him, or should she continue pursuing him in hopes of receiving some answers?
Other Reddit users offered her some advice:
She needs confirmation he’s ending things? At this point (it’s the 4th where I am) there is nothing to end, I’d have done it for him. Good lord, I don’t know what he was thinking but this is some bulls**t. And I feel bad that even now OP seems willing to accept no marriage at all just to stay with him. He’s already shown how he acts in a (self-made) crisis. I’d never wait to find out what happened in a real one such as health/work/family issues.
Tell his friends and family to stop d*cking around with this and drag him from there and talk some sense into him. If he wants to break up (and it really sounds like he does) he can still be an adult about it. I’m guessing there’s going to be issues like rent and stuff to talk about. If this had been just about the public proposal, etc, he wouldn’t still be hiding out 4 days later. Is he even going to his job?
Sworn to secrecy my a**. You and your BF have been together for six years and he’s disappeared. It is very much your business. That friend needs to do the decent thing and tell you what the hell is going on.
How would you handle this type of situation?