Brad Kearns was curious about his wife’s Facebook feed. But while a peek at her phone left him wondering what he didn’t know about her, the dad blogger’s readers were more concerned about whether he should have looked in the first place.

As Kearns, who blogs as DaDMuM, wrote on Facebook, he’d taken his wife’s phone to get a little insight into what she followed on social media:

So I did the unthinkable and grabbed Sarah’s phone. Took a bit of a squiz. You know … had a bit of a peek. Bit of a nosey to see what’s going on in that little head of hers.

I opened up Facebook and started scrolling.

His peek into his wife’s online habits revealed an interest in diet recipes, an astounding number of different Facebook groups, and several photos of other people’s children. He wrote:

Well let me just say … you ain’t seen trash media and groups till you surfed your wife’s phone. And to think she tells me that my news feed is boring.

But he was truly stunned to see his wife had signed up for a “Thailand Cosmetic Surgery and Support Group.” Especially because she hadn’t had any cosmetic surgery, and (in his mind) doesn’t need it.

Kearns shared his discovery to show how he’d been floored by the revelations in his wife’s Facebook feed and wrote, “Watch your wives gentlemen … they up to something.” However, several of his readers were less concerned about what Kearns found than whether he should have been on his wife’s phone in the first place.

Multiple commenters weighed in to share that they thought it was a violation of privacy to surf your spouse’s phone.

DaDMuM/Facebook DaDMuM/Facebook DaDMuM/Facebook

Kearns fired back in a follow-up post on Facebook, in which he wrote about what it’s like to share everything with your spouse:

For some people it’s a “breach of privacy” and for some people it was a big enough deal to take to some large pages to ask the question of how appropriate it is for a man to look through his wife’s phone. Even though it never stated that there was no permission. Even though she commented within the first minute in a clearly well timed reply.

And that’s okay… my message isn’t for those people.

Tonight my message is for all the people who are in genuinely loving and caring relationships.

Kearns wanted to tell those who do share Facebook feeds and phones with their spouse that they shouldn’t feel the need to justify it or downplay how lucky they are in their relationship:

Don’t feel like you need to defend yourself and don’t ever feel like you need to play into someone else’s insecurities by justifying anything you have to say.

If they have trust issues that’s their problem.

After going off on the nitpickers who “will pick the 1% from your 100% and suggest something isn’t right,” Kearns added:

So just to clear it up yes I had my wife’s permission to use her phone. Just like I have for the last ten years now.

And it seems like the Kearnses aren’t the only couple who happily share their phones. Several commenters weighed in to say that they consider it healthy (and practical) to let their partner surf their smartphone.

DaDMuM/Facebook DaDMuM/Facebook

What’s more, a few suggested that when a spouse won’t share, it could be the first sign of a problem.


What do you think? Is it a breach of privacy or a sign of a strong relationship when your partner uses your phone?

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