Singer Alanis Morissette opened up in a very personal interview about her “loss-filled” experience suffering multiple miscarriages and struggling with postpartum depression.

The 45-year-old told Self magazine that becoming a mother was not the easiest journey for her.

Now pregnant with her third child, the singer — who rose to fame in the ’90s — talked about the challenges she had to endure in order to grow her family.

Morissette said:

“I always wanted to have three kids, and then I’ve had some challenges and some miscarriages so I just didn’t think it was possible.”

The Canadian musician, who’s best known for her hit songs “Ironic”  and “You Oughta Know,” announced in March that she and her husband, Mario “Souleye” Treadway, are expecting.

The parents to 8-year-old son Ever Imre and 2-year-old daughter Onyx Solace said they experienced so much grief, and Morissette felt fear while she “chased and prayed for pregnancy.”

She described the experience of attempting to conceive another child as a “torturous learning and loss-filled and persevering process.”

The seven-time Grammy Award winner also got candid about her experience with postpartum depression and said PPD felt like being covered in tar after welcoming Ever.

Her symptoms returned and worsened after she gave birth to Onyx. She explained:

“For me I would just wake up and feel like I was covered in tar and it wasn’t the first time I’d experienced depression so I just thought, ‘Oh, well, this feels familiar, I’m depressed, I think.’ And then simultaneously, my personal history of depression where it was so normalized for me to be in the quicksand, as I call it, or in the tar. It does feel like tar, like everything feels heavy.”

Now that she’s carrying her third child over 40, the mom is preparing for PPD by not waiting too long before getting diagnosed.

She said:

“Not singularly relying on myself to diagnose myself is key. Because the first time around I waited […].

And then I had my various forms of self-medicating [that also didn’t help]. So, creativity’s not doing it, tequila’s not doing it…and I even sang about.”

Finally, after a year and four months that first time, she reached out to a doctor and asked: “if I stick this out, will it get better?”

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“There are so many ways pregnancy can affect you,” @alanis tells @selfmagazine in our latest digital cover story. “I was ready for the ride. My first two pregnancies have been gradually becoming more proprioceptive, more attuned to the subtleties that are going on [in my body].” Tap the link in bio to read our full feature on the Alanis Morissette—icon, pop star, and mother. 〰️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ?: @stephwilsonshoots. Wardrobe styling by @kirbymarzec. Hair by @dimitrishair at @thewallgroup. Makeup by @kayleenmcadams at @starworksartists. Manicure by @whitneygnails at @tmgla. On Alanis: Top by @christopherkane. Top worn underneath by Babaton at @aritzia. Jeans by @jbrandjeans. Produced by @avenerable.

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After hearing “no, honey, the opposite,” this third time around she’s not waiting to get help.

Watch the video below:

About the author

Tiffani is a writer for Dearly. She is from New York City. Prior to working for Dearly she covered fashion news and managed social media for various digital media outlets.

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