Actress and author Jenny Mollen is not “lucky” because her husband, actor Jason Biggs, is a hands-on dad.
Mollen and Biggs have been married since 2008, and together they have two sons, Lazlo and Sid.
As Mollen wrote in an op-ed for Parents, Biggs wanted children long before she ever did and it showed once they finally did become parents after welcoming their oldest, Sid, into the world in 2014.
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To my Valentine. What an amazing life this has been. If I weren’t raised by a father who gave me a totally inflated sense of self, I’d say that you are are more than I deserve… I love you in ways that make me too uncomfortable to talk about. Thank you for putting up with my flaws, for letting me attach myself to your star and for being the most incredible role model our sons could ever have. Nobody is better than you! NOBODY! I love you @biggsjason
She wrote, in part:
“…For Jason, caretaking has always been second nature. From the time Sid was an infant, friends, both male and female, marveled at what an actively involved father Jason was.”
Mollen admitted that her friends’ reactions to hearing about how involved Biggs’ was in raising their boys “confused” her.
She would be called “lucky” time and time again, but Mollen said she never considered herself lucky even though she truly loved and appreciated her husband:
“’You are so lucky’ became the words I’d hear on repeat at playdates and birthday parties. But as much as I loved my husband, I didn’t feel as though I should have to feel lucky. Nobody would ever say to a man, ‘Wow, you are so lucky your wife feeds and bathes your children!’ Women are expected to love and protect and show up for soccer practice. For men, an hour or two alone with the kids on a Sunday during football season somehow warrants a trophy, or at least a World’s Greatest Dad mug. Sadly, this laughably antiquated double standard is as relevant today as it was in the 1950s, even in New York City, where we live now.”
Mollen believes men and women should be treated equally when it comes to parenting.
And although she believes she is lucky to have found a husband, like Biggs, she refuses to say she is “lucky” because “he shows up for our children as much as I do” and she expects that from him.
“I expect Jason to be willing to both forgo football and crawl on glass if his sons require it. I am lucky because he’s willing to do the same for me!”
Mollen wrote similar words on her Instagram account in 2018.
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People often ask me if I feel lucky that @biggsjason is such an involved dad and the answer is, no. I expect him to be a good father! That’s why I had kids with him. Nobody would ever say to a man, “wow, you are so lucky your wife feeds and bathes your children” For women, it’s expected to love and protect and show up for soccer practice. For men, an hour or two alone with the kids on a weekend somehow warrants a trophy. (Or at least a World’s Greatest Dad mug) This double standard is antiquated and insulting. If your partner isn’t hands on, he shouldn’t have hands. #sorrynotsorry #jennyadvice #comeatme
“If your partner isn’t hands on, he shouldn’t have hands.”