“Dance Moms” star Abby Lee Miller says she went to a dark place during her battle with cancer.

The 52-year-old reality star was diagnosed with an aggressive form of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in April 2018 and had to undergo emergency surgery on her spine.

Doctors told Miller that she may not be able to walk again after the operation.

On Tuesday,  the Lifetime’s “Dance Moms: The Return of Abby” revealed the dance instructor’s devastated reaction to the news, Entertainment Tonight reports.

Miller explained on the show:

“I wanted to die. I did. And if I lose dance, there is no point in being here. I felt like I lost my purpose and I needed to find it.”

The dance instructor was also upset to hear that she’d have to undergo chemotherapy on top of trying to recover her ability to walk.

Miller said during a dark moment at the hospital, “I’m not going to keep doing the cancer treatment if I can’t walk.”

The reality star agreed to go through treatment and was eventually able to return to doing what she loved.

Returning to her famous dance studio was a big moment for Miller. She explained in on the show:

“I have had a miserable year. It almost killed me. I will teach again. I will create a winning team again and I hope and pray that I will walk again.”

Amazingly, Miller managed to not only walk again with the help of rehabilitation — but dance.

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Back to dancing, one step at a time. Port de bras ??

A post shared by Abby Lee Miller (@therealabbylee) on

Miller has since completed her chemotherapy and is continuing down the road to recovery.

Her cancer is officially in remission, but there’s still a long way to go. She said:

“I am definitely a fighter and this is the fight of my life. I’m proud. I’m grateful that I survived this year and I am ready to move on, get back in the studio, do what I love to do.”

Watch a preview for “Dance Moms: The Return of Abby” below:

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‘I Wanted to Die’: Abby Lee Miller Said She Didn’t Want to Live if She Couldn’t Dance After Cancer

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